not another one…

a grand aunt died last week…my mom asked me to go home…having no PTO’s (leaves) left I told her that I can’t…my grand aunt along with my maternal grandmother and other relatives took care of me whenever I was in the states since my family was here…when I was a kid i had a close relationship with my grandaunt, some tito’s and, of course, my maternal lola. I used to love them more than I did my immediate family. for real. why? maybe because i disliked my mom back then and i used to spend most of my time with my lolas than with my mom, dad or any of my siblings. i could always talk to my lolas and titos just about anything in the world without fear of being reprimanded. i had more freedom being with them than with my family whom i felt stifled me by telling me what I can and cannot do. But of course, things have changed a lot this year. I actually have a relationship now with my mom whom i disliked during my growing up years. But it’s just so sad that I wasn’t able to see my grandaunt before she died nor have i spent any time lately with my lola. well, being an ocean apart doesnt help either! i miss my lola and my mom and my sister and my dad and my favorite titos…i miss sf and the how the sun’s rays warms my cold red face when I open my window in the morning…aaawwww maybe it’s time to think about really going home…sshhhh!

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