I had a draft ready…but when a friend told me that someone’s dad was dying…

I hate goodbyes. I hate people dying…

the last death in my immediate family was my when my lola ima died…she’s my paternal grandmother…she left my lolo and her 9 kids after she found out that my lolo was cheating on her and since then they never heard any news from her nor saw any glimpse of her…except my dad. We saw her at times. Not too often but I remember that she always wore green when we saw her…i dunno why though…my dad’s siblings saw her again when we asked her to attend my sister’s christening party sometime in March or April of 1992. They all hugged her except for 2 of my dad’s sibling. My Tito Allan and Tita Cel. Why? Because Tito Cel didn’t recognize her (nor did my lola) and Tito Allan..well, di sya din kilala..kse when my lola left, my tito was still a baby…when she got sick, she came home…she stayed in my lolo’s house sa province…di sila nagpapansinan…when her sickness worsened, my dad brought her to Manila…Cancer na pala…she stayed in the hospital a couple of days lang until the doctor told us na its best na we bring her home nlang…and so we did. she stayed alive for about 2 weeks…all of her anaks was making her silbi but they knew naman na it was my dad who mattered to her…we were there on her last night and she was still ok…weak but ok. we went back to Manila thinking of visiting her again the next day but the phone rang in the wee hours of the morning…it was my tito..my lola was dying…my dad wasn’t able to go agad (forgot na why)…they said na her dying hours wasn’t nice…they could hear her gasping all through out the house (mind you, my lolo’s house sa province is huge!)…it was like she was fighting with the grim reaper. berating him for coming too soon…she was waiting for my dad pala…and they informed him of this nung papunta na sya…and when he got there, he immediately went to my lola’s side. hugged her and whispered na he was there na and that it was ok for her to sleep na…she died right at that moment…all of my dad’s siblings, cousins, my lolo and my lola’s only sister, Tita Arceli, were all there crying because of what they witnessed…to actually hang on to life because of just one person…till this very day, I still cry whenever I remember that kwento…

One recent death that touched my heart was Ronald Reagan’s…yeah so he was a former president thus the reason for the big hullabaloo about it but besides that…the enormous amount of grief that a lot of people felt for the man…it was astounding…what’s so touching too was his wife Nancy…she never cried nor showed any emotion during the week long ceremonies…except for the time when he was about to be interred as seen in the pic above…in life, she was there for him. she was his confidant, critic and biggest cheerleader. she was his 24/7 nurse when he got stricken by alzheimer’s…and in death, she was still there…

In the eulogy of former President George Walker Bush (the first Bush) he says:

“If Ronald Reagan created a better world for many millions, it was because of the world someone else created for him. Nancy was there for him always.

Her love for him provided much of his strength, and their love together transformed all of us as we’ve seen — renewed seeing again here in the last few days.”

Patti Davis, Reagan’s daughter:

“At the last moment, when his breathing told us this was it, he opened his eyes and looked straight at my mother,” the 51-year-old daughter of the late president wrote. “Eyes that hadn’t opened for days did, and they weren’t chalky or vague.

Reagan’s wife, Nancy — married to the actor, governor, president and then gentleman rancher for 52 years — “managed to say to him” that one look was “the greatest gift you could have given me,” Davis wrote.

“that there is nothing stronger than love between two people, two souls.

“Love opens eyes one last time, reaches past illness and the dwindling flame of life,” she wrote. “It reaches past death and cradles hearts while they weep. It was the last thing he could do in this world to show my mother how entwined their souls are — and it was everything.

They were clear and blue and full of love. If a death can be lovely, his was.”

And i say…

Maybe one day I will be able to experience that kind of love..faithful..enduring and…undying love…maybe one day…

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