“Richard: I thought you said you didn’t need a man.

Ally: I don’t.

Richard: What’s this all about then?

Ally: I want one.”

..there it is..there is my need…

“I know I’ve got it great, really, good job, good friends, loving family, total freedom, and long bubblebaths. What else could there be?”

Growing With Someone

Years ago, I asked God to give me a spouse, “You don’t own because you didn’t ask” God said. Not only I asked for a spouse but also explained what kind of spouse I wanted. I want a nice, tender, forgiving, passionate, honest, peaceful, generous, understanding, pleasant, warm, intelligent, humorous, attentive, compassionate and truthful spouse.

I even mentioned the physical characteristics I dreamt about. As time went by I added the required list of my wanted spouse.One night, in my prayer, God talked to my heart :”My servant, I cannot give you what you want” I asked, “Why God?” God said “Because I am God and I am fair. God is the truth and all I do are true and right” I asked “God, I don’t understand why I cannot have what I ask from you?”God answered, ” I will explain.

It is not fair and right for Me to fulfill your demand because I cannot give something that is not your own self. It is not fair to give someone who is full of love to you if sometimes you are still hostile, or to give you someone generous but sometimes you can be cruel, or someone forgiving; however, you still hide revenge, someone sensitive; however, you are very insensitive….” He then said to me : “It is better for Me to give you someone who I know could grow to have all qualities you are searching rather than to make you waste your time to find someone who already have the qualities you want. Your spouse would be bone from your bone and flesh from your flesh and you will see yourself in her and both of you will be one.

Marriage is like a school. It is a life-long an education. It is where you and your partner make adjustment and aim not merely to please each other, but to be better human beings and to make a solid teamwork. I do not give you a perfect partner, because you are not perfect either. I give you a partner with whom you would grow with.

As I was walking out of Paseo Center where I heard mass, I went back and asked the priest if he would hear my confession. And so, in the middle of Paseo Center (just between seattle’s and that cake kiosk..hehehehe…), the priest heard my confession. Last January was my first confession after so many month of being a wandering Catholic. I cried then. The priest wasn’t that forgiving. After that, I confessed again on Good Friday. The priest was better. I cried then. Then in today’s confession, the priest was good. In all 3 confessions, I confessed a lot of things but my # 1 sin was my unforgiving nature. In all 3 confessions, I cried. The priest said that, I should not be guilty that I am still unable to forgive. That I shouldn’t be angry at myself for being mad and unforgiving to those who have hurt me because I am still hurting. God, he says, will heal me…will take away all of my hurts…will take away all of my pain…will take away all of my anger at the right time. That I will be healed……in time and that I just be patient.

The Scorpion Moment

There was this Hindu who saw a scorpion floundering around in the water. He decided to

save it by stretching out his finger, but the scorpion stung him. The man still tried to get the scorpion out of the water, but the scorpion stung him again. A man nearby told him to stop saving the scorpion that kept stinging him.

But the Hindu said: “It is the nature of the scorpion to sting. It is my nature to love. Why

should I give up my nature to love just because it is the nature of the scorpion to sting?”

Don’t give up loving. Don’t give up your goodness… Even if people around you sting.

(ah, i should tell this to myself…)

“Teach me your way, O Lord and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever” (psalm 86: 11-12)

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